God Is Love, & He Loves Everyone

Sitting in a coffeeshop...

I love coffee,  & I love sitting in coffees shops.

It is truly one of my favorite things to do, and it brings my heart and soul great joy!

Today though, as I sit in a coffee shop, I am partaking in another favorite- people watching. 

I am really weird like that, and people probably think I am the creepiest thing ever, but that's alright because while I am people watching, I am thinking about how much God loves His children. 

I was thinking about this, as people walked in and out of the front doors to the coffeehouse, and each time someone walked in or out, I thought, I wonder if they know how much God loves them.

Then I kept on thinking, and my simple mind wasn't even grasping something marvelous!

God is love! 

Wow! God really is love, friends. It is a profound truth, and it blows my mind to attempt to comprehend. Like I said, my mind is simple. Yours is too. We cannot merely grasp the great and deep love that God has for us and his people. It goes beyond our comprehension, & that is because God's love is not to be understood, it is to be but barely grasped. Which is cray because we often feel overwhelmed with a waft of God's love! Guys, we don't even need full understanding of His love to feel it or be overtaken by it, and that is amazing to me. 

Basically, we live on a sinful and temporary Earth (Thanks, Eve). God's love is heavenly and holy. I am starting to see that the more I aim to be heavenly and holy, the more real and true God's love is to me. And I also see that the more I aim to be heavenly and holy, the more Satan comes to take away this goal and pursuit of mine. So to you Satan, here is what I have to say: There is no room for you in my heart. As long as I am seeking the Lord and Savior of the world, you have no precedent in my life or my soul. God's love is overwhelming, and His pure love is overwhelming this dark heart of mine, and creating life and light. 

Reflect on God's love. I would suggest in a coffeehouse... or anywhere...but if you want to feel hipster for two seconds it is a great place to start!

Heavenly Father, you are good, all the time, in every way. 

Amen! 

On A Day Like This

Today was a snow (ice) day!

I love the joy that snow days bring! Who doesn't love the beautiful white powder relaxing on the ground, and the calming aroma it brings. The best part of today had to be all of the remaining Valentine chocolates I ate. Apparently my lover doesn't understand that I am trying to lose a few pounds, and gave me an entire box of Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory chocolates, complete with a massive peanut butter cup, chocolate covered graham crackers, and chocolate truffles (YUM!).

Today, I relaxed and reflected on the goodness and grace of our Lord. It is humbling to think about a God who loves me so much that He not only sent his son to die on the cross, but allows me to indulge in the simple pleasures of this temporary life; snow days are a direct reflection of God's beauty. It sounds goofy in more ways than one, but I feel compelled to thank God for a Monday off. Monday's are my "crazy" days of the week, and the opportunity to eat chocolate, drink coffee, catch up on reading, and watch The Bachelor is enough to bring me to my little blog (that i'm convinced only my mom reads), and relay my gratefulness for this day.

Thank you Father for a beautiful snow day! Thank you for having such a gracious and giving heart that you allow me to relax and catch up on this crazy life. Today was so needed, and I am tickled pink that I was given this gift. Thank you for keeping my loved ones safe as they drove on the roads today, and thank you for loving me more than I can envision in my simple mind. Days like today are few and far between, but I treasure and remember them.

I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their snow day, and I pray it fulfilled you as much as it did me!

Don't Drink Poison

My sister once shared with me words that have never failed to leave my heart

"Don't be bitter towards others, because bitterness is like drinking poison, and hoping it kills the other person."

Today was a day full of bitterness in its truest form. It seems that the more time I spend with my Heavenly Father, the more Satan tries to tempt me into despair and unhappiness. This is problematic; how do I grow closer to God when every time I take a step, Satan is there to take me back two more steps? 

I had an epiphany this evening. Sobbing uncontrollably, thinking about the hurts today brought, it all of a sudden just clicked. Those wise words shared by my sister knocked at my heart, and I faced the unfortunate truth that today my heart was bursting with bitter. Bitterness looks and feels as ugly as it sounds, it rots into the core of your heart and has the power to suck the joy and life out of you. I was pondering on all of this, wondering how life could bring such ugliness... and God spoke so very clear to me, it was as if he was right next to me: 

"Love conquers all."

We have heard it over and over again, but my heart fluttered with a new respect and recognition of this incomparable and valuable declaration. Love conquers all. My sobbing slowed, and I caught my breath, as I repeated to myself over and over again, love conquers all, love conquers all, love conquers all. It is a sweet truth to come to, and God has impeccable timing. 

Today was full of darkness and bitterness, but I didn't realize the incredible light it would bring me to. God never said that if I surrender to Him my journey on Earth will be easy. He never said my burden would be light, and my path would be full of happy anthems. He did however promise that He will never leave me or forsake me, and on bitter days like today, He is not far. He is walking beside me, whispering "love conquers all" in my ear. Sometimes all it takes is a good long cry, and good hard listen. 

Job 21:25

 "Another dies with bitterness in the soul, having never tasted anything good or pure."

Don't drink poison. Conquer bitterness with love. 

Of Stars and Dots

"Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star. Others, though, could do little. They got dots."

Max Lucado, You Are Special

When I was younger, my parents used to read my siblings and I a book by Max Lucado called You Are Special. This book is about Wemmick's (small wooden people) that are all carved by the woodworker named Eli. The little Wemmick people run around all day giving out stars and dots. As the quote above implies, stars are for Wemmicks of great talent and those who can do lots- stars make Wemmicks feel special. 

But there were some Wemmicks that were perceived as possessing no talent or distinguishing features, those Wemmicks received dots, Punchinello was one of them. Punchinello tried so hard to be like the Wemmicks with lots of stars, but every time he tried, he failed, and he would get even more dots.

One day, Punchinello saw a girl with NO dots or stars! He wanted to be like her, and asked her how she didn't have any stars or dots! The girl told him that she went and sat with their creator, Eli, each day. Punchinello wanted his dots to go away, but he didn't think his creator would want to see him. How could he? Punchinello was full of dots! His paint was starting to chip because of it. No, surely Eli would not want to see him.

Although he was hesitant, the next day, Punchinello went to see Eli. To his surprise, Eli knew his name and had been wanting Punchinello to come visit for some time! Punchinello asked Eli why the dots and stars didn't stick to the girl he had met, to which Eli replied, "Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them."

The book concludes with Punchinello walking out of Eli's house. Eli says to Punchinello, "Remember, you are special because I made you, and I don't make mistakes." And as Punchinello walks home, a dot falls off.

I love the innocent and simple methods God uses to declare his truth. God can use a children's book, and He can use YOU. Relieve yourself of the stars and dots being placed around you. Spend time with our creator, and choose to not let the dots/stars stick. Your value is not dictated by the world around you and their opinions, it is dictated by the one whom loves and created you. And He thinks you are pretty fantastic just the way you are:)

"And remember, you are special because [God] made you, and [He] doesn't make mistakes."

You are loved. You have a purpose. You are special. 

http://youarespecial.net

My Brother Commit Suicide, but God Intended Good

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

It was the beginning my Junior year of high school. My life was in a state of consistent joy (something that hadn't occurred in a while). I was involved in a drama production called One Act, that competes at a regional and state level, and I had made many new friends; a smile on my face was not a rare attribute.

Practice had run a little long that night, because our regional One Act competition was coming up that Saturday. I remember being so excited! God was really starting to resonate in my life, and I was so filled with Him. God had just lead me on my first mission trip to Panama that summer, and my heart was overflowing with love.

During the drive home, I called my boyfriend at the time, chatting about this and that- I'm quite the "chatter". However, upon nearing my house, I looked up (my house sits on a large hill in the country, aka the middle of nowhere) and noticed several flashing lights. I could tell they were coming from a police or ambulance vehicle. I remember tears flooded my eyes as I stopped my car, and knew in my heart something was wrong. After quickly getting off the phone, I prayed. I remember specifically praying, "Please God, let Mom, Dad, Hannah, and Jonathan be okay." I drove slowly, crying. A pain in my heart had already settled, and my nerves escalated to anxiety.

When reaching the top of the hill, the flashing lights were what I had assumed from the bottom. Several police officers roamed around, and an ambulance sat in our front drive. I began searching for the source of the chaos- I saw my brother's car, okay Jonathan is okay, I saw my mom, mom's okay, and saw my dad's back turned to me. What could be the problem? Surely if something had happened to Hannah (who was at OU at the time), there would be no need for all of this.

I then saw my frantic mother, and saw a clear picture of what distress and shock look like upon the face of someone. She alarmed me because of her panicked look, and kept gesturing at me to park my car. I quickly did and got out to embrace her. I remember saying, "Mom, what happened?", because my mother could not seem to compose herself enough to speak, righty so. The most sorrowful words I have ever and will ever hear in my time on earth left her lips. "Jonathan! Jonathan! He took his life!"

At 17 years old, he went to be with the Lord. It felt like someone was pulling a sick joke on me. Tears did not flood my eyes instantly, because I simply could not grasp what I had just been told. A simple look of disbelief was the response to my mother's statement. I stood and held my mom. I stood and looked beyond her, allowing the situation to settle in my mind. Within moments, my father walked over, appearing as miserable as any parent would under the circumstances.

What in the world had just happened?

Later that night, I found out that my parents simply sat down with Jonathan to discuss college. They relayed to him that if he was serious about college, his grades needed to improve. Jonathan looked with complacency at both my parents, got up, and walked to my father's closet. My father was chasing after him, however Jonathan had locked the door, and shot himself.

Mom, Dad, and I fell to the ground in a huddle. Crying, praying, hugging, stopping at times to catch our breath. I don't know how long we lay there, but I know we lay in the grass of our front yard for what felt like hours. I felt numb to the world around me, except for one thing: the peace of God that transcends our understanding.

This night was a tragedy, but I have to express that in the midst of this crazy storm, I felt as if I was lying in the palm of God's hand the entire time. I often tell people that if 5 years ago, you were to tell me that in 2010, my brother would take his life, I would have told you that I would lay in my bed all day long, and life would cease to possess a lick of happiness for me. But the Lord is faithful, and the Lord is good, and because of that, life not only continued, but I was closer to God during this season of my life, than ever before.


Don't get me wrong, obviously, my heart ached and pained for my brother's life, and there isn't a day I don't wish him to be here. I so badly wanted (want) to go back in time, to let him know I loved him, and to let him know that he is so special. Unfortunately, life only moves forward, never back. Fortunately, God uses the future to heal our hurts from the past.

Satan intended evil, God intended good.

Let me clarify before going further, suicide should never be romanticized, or played up to something it isn't. It is evil, and wrong. However, God turned this evil and horrid event in my life to change the world around me for GOOD. Spring Break of 2010, I was honored to take the place of my brother on a mission trip to Guatemala. While I was there, I carried my brother's legacy and many came to know Christ as their Lord and Savior. God reminded his children that they are special, a simple complexity that I would never have conveyed if I had not experienced what I had.

At times, a heavy sadness, as expected, invades my heart. Sometimes in looms over my head for a while, and I lose sight of the good God intended. I yearn to see my brother, Jonathan David Michael Lemery. I simply want to hop on his back, to know he is here to play the "big brother" role in my life (which he did VERY well), or to just give him a hug. However, I know that he is rejoicing with the Savior of goodness and restoration. The Lord has constantly reminded me that I can rest easy because Jonathan knew the Lord, and is experiencing unexplainable joy in the presence of God.

Satan is a thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He planted a lie in my brother's head, and rejoiced when he thought he won. I am here to burst satan's bubble, because satan received no glory, but God did. Although satan attempted to thwart the plans God envisioned for Jonathan, there is an army of firm believers declaring the truth in Jonathan's place. We are being vessels of God's grace, and because of that, the kingdom of God is being furthered.

I will conclude by posing you with a challenge: reach out and remind someone (anyone, everyone), that they are special. Don't be afraid of their reaction. Pray about it, seek God's wisdom and guidance, and just do it! Too often, we enable satan by allowing fear to prohibit us from fulfilling God's plans for our lives.  Step away from fear, and move closer to the trusting presence of God.

I promise you will have no regrets if you do it, but you may if you don't.

Above all else though, remember this

You are special. 

Thank you for reading a piece of my heart

May the Joy of Life Surprise You

I participated in youth choir at my church for seven years. Every Sunday evening, I stood among other students, singing and learning hymns and praises, enjoying time with friends, laughing and making jokes...and every Sunday evening, we concluded rehearsal with a benediction. During the benediction, we would put our arms around each other, and sway to the rhythm of the piano. Most of the time, it was merely an act of recitation and "goofiness". However, when I recently thought back to the lyrics, my heart melted. I shamelessly admit that it brought tears to my eyes.

"May the hope of Jesus find you

May the peace of Christ now bind you

May the joy of life surprise you

May the love of Jesus Christ, Immanuel

Bring abundant life to you

Grant God's grace to those with whom

You share life and health, and toil and play

Hope and peace, and joy and love

Both now and evermore

Amen"

This benediction is composed of all good and powerful things, however the most noticeable to me is the  part that says, "May the joy of life surprise you." I thought long and hard about this for some reason; it weighed heavy on my heart. The Lord revealed to me through this benediction, that I have sung approximately 300 times, that life is intended to be a road full of joy. Joys that are put in our life to surprise us, and to remind us of the provision of the Lord.

Life is a joy!

It goes by so quickly, life does. We spend a ridiculous amount of time struggling when the truth is, we don't even have to. Life is a joy, we make it complicated. We are in a constant state of "rushing" and hurrying, we hardly ever sit down to think of the joys in our lives. 

With all this being said, I would challenge you to allow the joys of this life to surprise you. May your life not be so busy or concerned with the unimportant, that you fail to acknowledge the good, pure and intentional joys the Lord has placed in your life. 

   

How I Came To Own An Orange Shirt

This post was difficult for me, because I am constantly battling the overwhelming sense of uncertainty about the whole college situation, but here is where I'm at:

...it's the end of my high school senior year, and plans for the fall include attending Oklahoma Baptist University to study nursing. Why might you ask? Well, I didn't quite know. I felt as though God wanted me to be there. However, because I am naturally the most anxious person in the entire universe, I was skeptical of the whole idea. 

                Upon my arrival at OBU, I experienced waves of friendliness and kindness. A greeting for a Freshman at OBU is not merely a "welcome" with a genuine smile. No, no. At OBU, a welcome includes being rampaged by upperclassman while in your car, being asked your room number, and having every item removed from your car (and your parent's), and moved to your room...

                  in case moving away from mom and dad wasn't paralyzing enough.

My first few months at OBU were rough- the shock of being away from home, the homework overload, the freedom... everything was different. I would like to say I looked to God, but instead, I looked to the world. During my time at OBU I made some amazing friends. A few on my hall and I just clicked, and we spent countless hours together. I'm not sure how it was even brought up, but we all decided OBU wasn't for us, and we wanted to transfer, and beginning making arrangements to apply to Oklahoma University.

By December, I was on my way to being a student at OU for Fall 2013. I had been accepted, made apartment arrangements with two of my friends, and all that jazz. However, over Christmas break, within 5 minutes, I received two calls that allowed me to open my perspective and realize this is not what God's plan was. 

Call #1: the apartment ran out of furnished 4 bedroom apartments, and only had one furnished left with two rooms available. After hyperventilating I rushed off the phone, and said to myself, "It'll all work out".

Call #2: OU admissions called and said only 11 of my 33 credit hours would be transferring, because my private school course ID's were not matching up.

Catch my breathe. Hang up. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Within seconds my heart just knew it wouldn't make sense. I just knew God had other plans in mind. 

I called the apartment complex back, and asked if my two roommates could have the last two furnished rooms available.

And it worked out perfect and sweet for them:)

Now back to the whole college thing... 

      I once again looked to myself, and with my own mind, I decided I would stay at OBU. At this point, Spring housing had been turned in for everyone, and nothing was available on campus, and if you are not 21, you are required to live in campus. Strike 1. Changed my major to a degree OBU doesn't have (Pre-Physician's Assistant). Strike 2. Prayed and prayed and prayed and God changed my heart. Strike 3. 

I was out, out of options, hope, and faith, but exposed to frustration, rejection, and anger.

I remember talking to my boyfriend about it, and he let me know Oklahoma State had the major I desired, and I should apply.

"Yeahhhhhhhh righhhhtttt" *The only two words I can remember thinking that I now laugh hysterically about.

I applied for the fun of it, was accepted, and received a phone call saying OSU would not only give me full credit for my classes, but I would receive EXTRA, yes I said extra, hours because my OBU classes were worth more hours at OSU. 

I prayed. I prayed. I prayed.

I wanted to be certain I wasn't going to OSU for reasons that I shouldn't, such as, oh I don't know, perhaps because the most spectacular man in the entire universe goes there...

But one night in the midst of a devotional, God reminded me that He is in control of my life. If OSU wasn't where I was supposed to be, He would let me know. God will protect me.

I went with the motions, and enrolled, set up apartment arrangements, and everything else. 

But I still wasn't convinced.

God likes to humble me. I received a letter shortly after enrollment about a scholarship for my academics, and the end of the letter read:

             "We are so happy you will be attending Oklahoma State University in the Fall of 2013. Remember,  you are here for a purpose, and we look forward to seeing that purpose unfold."

All to Jesus, I surrender.

So here I go, jumping with confidence into the unknown, and pursuing to faithfully trust God every step of the way. 

Please pray for me as I start the rest of my college journey at Oklahoma State!

Thank you for reading!

-Bethany